he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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