There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
