I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
