And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
