That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
