You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
