i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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