this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
