god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
