Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
