I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize