I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
