I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
