last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
