I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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