The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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