And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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