Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
