ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just pee around me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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