once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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