What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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