If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
