is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
