Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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