Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
