She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The air taste purple.
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