Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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