dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
