she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
