thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
