I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
