I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The adults are the big ones right?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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