Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize