her vagina looked like bernie madoff
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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