I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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