That's when you crack a 10am beer
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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