I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize