She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I puked a lego.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
