Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
