check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
