I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
