I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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