i just google imaged poop.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
