So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
