Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
