I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
