How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
