i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
