***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
