Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who died my cat blue again?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
