i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
