**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
