Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
