i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
