I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize