I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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