So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
