Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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