Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
