Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
