Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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