it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
