so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
