I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i think my cat just said my name.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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