garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i would punch a child for taco bell
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
