We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
