im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
