Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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