Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
